i don't make friends easily. and so i do not have many. but for me, it's always been about quality than quantity. can't handle small talk and that networking shit. i'm blessed to have these few close ones to make me smile.

and oh on another random note, i indulged in a pair of adizeros. nice!

PESS bash at velvet underground 26/1/08. Let Mercy Come's debut gig and i think we kicked ass heh. mbe it was the overwhelming support from dear friends. mbe it was the beer i downed before taking the stage. mbe it was the bass playing. mbe it was the many hours of practice we went through together. mbe it was the competence of Boon's soundguys. mbe it was velvet's nice sound and lighting systems. it was all of those, and more. but i think that had to be the best gig ever, out of the 30+ i've had. i was a bit lightheaded with beer, my classmates threw a G-string at me, i wiped my brow with it and it was all good make-believe-im-a-rocksta r fun.

after that it was wild with loud finger-guessing games, lots of hysterical laughter and of coz boozing. surprisingly most of us were sober enough to make it to bak kut teh supper later. make that somewhat sober lol.

the gig's gona be a tough one to surpass in terms of rockstar antics. but where the music is concerned, we look forward of coz. new setlist in the works yay.

wed, i received the sms from audrey that pocky had passed away. was truly too stunned to speak. me and her, we had never been especially close but still. she was so young, only 22? 23? but i guess the way she lived, she was always the candle that burnt on both ends.

scarlet ash was crystal, audrey, ni, pin & ling. pocky was #1 groupie and almost as good as part of the band. i still have that costume she designed for our 2004 JEM nation band competition. the band may no longer be, but the memories remain. and she is definitely a big part of those. RIP pokes. thanks for the good times.

whirlwind. we came in joint 3rd in ICG ultimate frisbee woah lol that's beyond any expectations. in fact we didn't have any to begin with. considering how ICG had been for us right from the start. and that we were severely lacking in manpower. luck of the draw played a part of coz, but it's about time we got the better luck. nice. we'l see how it goes for netball and floorball then.

im really beginning to like the metalboys a lot. the music rocksss and outside of jamming we've started to become friends, hang out, chat over msn etc. it's nice really. just needed time to warm up to one another. originals might be in the works. im almost afraid to start hoping for too much coz so much has gone wrong with the previous plans alrdy and boy, did it hurt. just take it easy, enjoy the music and go with the flow. yep.

momo needs to get more action. and where else better than metal to do it. im gona try follow marc's tuning and lock it in 1 step down from standard. just means more effort in transposing. but if i could start bringing him to jam powerful music again, it'd be worth the extra work. that's what my beautiful baby was meant to play.

i duno what got into me but i couldn't resist the impulse to contact her last night. seeing as to how i deleted the contact numbers and msn and basically everything else, there was only good ol' email. mbe it's just the time of the year or smth. can't help reminiscing about the past.

we were very close friends once. i think if it weren't for her persistent encouragement/nagging/abs olute conviction that i could do it, i would not have (1) become the guitarist i am now, (2) lost the excess weight to become much fitter than 3 years back.

scarlet ash saved me musically, at a time when the less-competent-but-foolis hly-egoistic boys from my 1st band were keeping me from realising my potential. up until that point, i'd never believed i could really play, much less compose. then although the bandmates came and went, musically, i peaked working with her, from scarlet ash through to dB. how did it end up going awry? sigh. life. but it did get to a point when i felt it necessary to cut her out of my life totally, having had enough of the disappointments and endless broken promises. so why am i going back on that decision now?

she's replied with an offer to catch up over coffee. mbe after 2yrs of bearing a grudge, it would be good to finally exorcise the ghosts of the past. mbe with carefully-managed expectations (or perhaps none at all), we could become friends again.