this is proof that i'm not a completely worthless piece of shit.

it can all be very simple and pure.

just let me love you from a distance.

i like to think i'm ok now. not totally, i haven't junked any of the stuff, the SMSes, the photos and all that. can't bear to look at them, can't bear to throw them away either. but at least i'm no longer losing sleep over you. at the practicum school, there's a new guy who reminds me a lot of you, so much that i couldn't stop staring the first day (and the rest of the week). the hair, the spectacles, the height, the way the face crinkles into a smile and even the slightly gawky walk some tall guys have. he's scrawnier, bit shorter - just a few centimetres shy of 180cm i think, overall more scholarly and admittedly just a wee bit cuter. very disturbing. i wonder if he's noticed me staring. we've never spoken. i don't really think there's a need to. simply looking is kinda fun actually. and in a sad lil' twisted sort of way, this gives some of the closure i never managed to get previously. so it's good. i'll enjoy it while it lasts.

in the meantime, the music keeps me alive. and i realised i have really nice pals who rallied around and made everything easier to bear. in some aspects of life, i'm still very much blessed.

a final note. hindsight is always perfect. but if only i'd known. i'd have lingered more over.. everything. just goes to show how much is taken for granted on an everyday basis. but no regrets whatsoever, that's just a bloody waste of time.

i probably qualify as schizophrenic. and then i've got this ability to mentally block out things that i don't want to think about. i used to think it's great. but does it really impede the healing process like people say?

all these walls of self-defence don't work anymore coz my selection process is obviously screwed. but i can take a lot of shit from people i look up to. i get the feeling you should be ok and the thought gives me peace of mind.

if it's meant to be, it'd all work itself out. otherwise, what's the point of forcing the issue?

being able to think rationally is probably the only thing that's keeping me sane. though it's 3.30am and i'm having trouble organising my thoughts.

dark epic music and sad lyrics rule. but i never said i wanted my life to be like that.

i wonder if crying would help.

but the tears won't come.

ok it's been a tough week but things have cleared up. i still wana strangle you for putting me through hell. but im really glad you're ok. dengue is no joking matter. i just wish you'd let me know during, instead of after. sigh. we learn and move on. if nothing else, the incident only intensified the feelings. i duno why i worry so much, this emotional rollercoaster is turning me into a wimp pffttt. my own intensity spooks even me sometimes.

the best thing to come out of this. needing distraction, i completed the 1000-pce jigsaw in 2.5 days. tadaa! fats is v proud of me :)

4hr-marathon jam tmr night, marc + LJ + chris for the cover band project, then with chris' other band. 1st session last week was friggin awesome. chris just blew everyone away with his vocal prowess and we're doing incubus and soundgarden! sweeeet. damn high. like demons let loose from hell that day haha. it should be indecent to have this much fun. i volunteered for chris' other band sorta as a gesture of goodwill since he decided to join us. plus i think he writes good songs. but now i wonder if i've overcommitted myself.

another session on sun with the power metal band side where marc & LJ are also involved. things are progressing nicely. momo is comin outa retirement! excited. just the vocalist spot left to fill and we're ready to fly. then we're having band outing - steamboat buffet! haha. the boys really make an effort to bond together and it's nice to belong. should start taking pictures and chronicling the whole adventure.

hmm then there's still the PESS band, which is currently the only one actively gigging, and for that reason i wana keep it going as long as i can manage. less exciting music for sure, but gigging is important for sharpness. oh well. 

sometimes i marvel at my suicidal tendency to overbook for the band projects. but it's always been the case that not everything works out. im pinning my hopes on both projects with marc & LJ.

and then i wonder where im gona find the time to learn all the songs, do all the work required of me and still find time for the really important people in my life. and so we recite this to ourselves every day.

"time is like cleavage; squeeze and there will be some"

and oh, i love incubus bassist ben kenney! probably even more so than robert deLeo. such sexy basslines them both. ahhhhh.

what a difference a week makes.

if i ignore it, would it go away?

it's the 15th today. exactly one month since buckeroos and seletar reservoir. i don't know how to describe this feeling. should i say has it been one month already? or that has it only been one month?

actually it feels much longer than that. perhaps coz the days feel like eternity in between waiting to meet again. also, there's this level of unspoken understanding that belies the fact we haven't really known each other that long.

i've been trying not to think too much about this and to simply let things happen. it was only when i was trying to describe these feelings to fats that i realised just how much you matter to me.

it's inexplicable just how safe and right it feels to be in your arms.

current mood: blessed

that friday turned out very special indeed.

i'm reminded once again of how certain things happen (or don't, for that matter) for a reason. though it may take months for the realisation to hit.

and i'm glad things panned out the way they did.

i think i'm in love!

Warai Otoko: anyway..... wanna meet on this coming friday?

Warai Otoko: could be anytihg.,... or u just look at me lo

Warai Otoko: haha u prolly get bored

Warai Otoko: haha i think u will lo....some more I dun tok much sometimes

Warai Otoko: that's nice :)

recently, i find myself grinning like an idiot at my hp when the SMSes come in.

the connection is unbelievable when people share the same sense of humour, when we actually get each other. 

i like you a lot too, les.

one who sets out to annoy? or one who doesn't even know when one is being annoying?

i'm just glad it's not my problem anymore.

i don't make friends easily. and so i do not have many. but for me, it's always been about quality than quantity. can't handle small talk and that networking shit. i'm blessed to have these few close ones to make me smile.

and oh on another random note, i indulged in a pair of adizeros. nice!

PESS bash at velvet underground 26/1/08. Let Mercy Come's debut gig and i think we kicked ass heh. mbe it was the overwhelming support from dear friends. mbe it was the beer i downed before taking the stage. mbe it was the bass playing. mbe it was the many hours of practice we went through together. mbe it was the competence of Boon's soundguys. mbe it was velvet's nice sound and lighting systems. it was all of those, and more. but i think that had to be the best gig ever, out of the 30+ i've had. i was a bit lightheaded with beer, my classmates threw a G-string at me, i wiped my brow with it and it was all good make-believe-im-a-rocksta r fun.

after that it was wild with loud finger-guessing games, lots of hysterical laughter and of coz boozing. surprisingly most of us were sober enough to make it to bak kut teh supper later. make that somewhat sober lol.

the gig's gona be a tough one to surpass in terms of rockstar antics. but where the music is concerned, we look forward of coz. new setlist in the works yay.

wed, i received the sms from audrey that pocky had passed away. was truly too stunned to speak. me and her, we had never been especially close but still. she was so young, only 22? 23? but i guess the way she lived, she was always the candle that burnt on both ends.

scarlet ash was crystal, audrey, ni, pin & ling. pocky was #1 groupie and almost as good as part of the band. i still have that costume she designed for our 2004 JEM nation band competition. the band may no longer be, but the memories remain. and she is definitely a big part of those. RIP pokes. thanks for the good times.

whirlwind. we came in joint 3rd in ICG ultimate frisbee woah lol that's beyond any expectations. in fact we didn't have any to begin with. considering how ICG had been for us right from the start. and that we were severely lacking in manpower. luck of the draw played a part of coz, but it's about time we got the better luck. nice. we'l see how it goes for netball and floorball then.

im really beginning to like the metalboys a lot. the music rocksss and outside of jamming we've started to become friends, hang out, chat over msn etc. it's nice really. just needed time to warm up to one another. originals might be in the works. im almost afraid to start hoping for too much coz so much has gone wrong with the previous plans alrdy and boy, did it hurt. just take it easy, enjoy the music and go with the flow. yep.

momo needs to get more action. and where else better than metal to do it. im gona try follow marc's tuning and lock it in 1 step down from standard. just means more effort in transposing. but if i could start bringing him to jam powerful music again, it'd be worth the extra work. that's what my beautiful baby was meant to play.

i duno what got into me but i couldn't resist the impulse to contact her last night. seeing as to how i deleted the contact numbers and msn and basically everything else, there was only good ol' email. mbe it's just the time of the year or smth. can't help reminiscing about the past.

we were very close friends once. i think if it weren't for her persistent encouragement/nagging/abs olute conviction that i could do it, i would not have (1) become the guitarist i am now, (2) lost the excess weight to become much fitter than 3 years back.

scarlet ash saved me musically, at a time when the less-competent-but-foolis hly-egoistic boys from my 1st band were keeping me from realising my potential. up until that point, i'd never believed i could really play, much less compose. then although the bandmates came and went, musically, i peaked working with her, from scarlet ash through to dB. how did it end up going awry? sigh. life. but it did get to a point when i felt it necessary to cut her out of my life totally, having had enough of the disappointments and endless broken promises. so why am i going back on that decision now?

she's replied with an offer to catch up over coffee. mbe after 2yrs of bearing a grudge, it would be good to finally exorcise the ghosts of the past. mbe with carefully-managed expectations (or perhaps none at all), we could become friends again.

has it been a year already.

xmas eve i ended up at paul's place again. much more crowded than last year. still many musicians around. this time the jamming went on till almost 4am crazy guys lol. teetotalled coz im still on meds for the dreaded flu, hence no repeat of last year's spectacular puking. that was good, coz given my current mood i duno how much i would've downed. raj was there too, it was great to see him. i don't jam with strangers but sat with raj for sometime and worked on some new riffs. so we have a new name. seven days in. ok cool. more importantly i hope the band resumes operations soon. i love the stuff he comes up with.

strangely i seem to play better music (and basketball, for that matter) in all this gloom. music has once again been my salvation. played so much these few days that my fingers are blistered and swollen, yet i love the pain. it distracts me from the other pain.

im not really upset about the breakup per se, but rather at how things went so wrong. been analysing it a lot. mbe i'l do a post-mortem soon after i get the thoughts organised. for closure.

2nd jam with the power metal boys was rockin. i still need to settle in but i love the music. ever since i got hooked on nightwish, i've been wanting to find a band just like this. then the PESS band seems to wana gig which is cool, except i haven't done that in ages. gigging as bassist is gona be a whole new experience. and whoever says i keep too low a profile in sch is gona have to eat his words after that lol. i'l show em.

and so, i start the new year again on a clean slate. square one. never stop hoping. as tuomas wrote in Nemo,  all i wish is to dream again.

yep, just like that. 2 days shy of 2 mths.

am i upset? yeah. but it's easier to walk away now than later. i don't want a half-assed relationship just for the sake of it.

exam results are out i cleared all the subjs, incl G&D! haha. grades range from B to A- to A. i duno how i stand agst peers though, but that's not impt. happy enough!

today at isg badminton i played singles. and lost. cough was bad it was the closest i ever came to hyperventilating. near the end i couldn't catch my breath and legs were beginning to give way. think i was about to start seeing stars when mercifully the game ended. after that i ran to the loo and coughed out a huge blob of sticky yellow phlegm ewww. with that thing in the windpipe, no wonder i couldn't breathe. we lost all the games today though most were closely contested. sigh. but it's ok coz later in the aftn we played isg netball agst the same opponents (chem/bio engrg) and thrashed them smth like 30-0 haha. revenge is sweet.

the thing about being taken for granted still weighs on the mind. im upset but i duno how to deal with it. gona go play some nightwish. that shd provide some reprieve.

day 1: 8 dec sat

arrived at changi damn early, like 2pm. bro had to work after dropping me off. checked in early at 230pm. actually not that early la. there was already a bloody queue going on there. baby called, yakked abit til it was my turn. was abit worried bout the baggage limit but it was only 21.3kg and i got thru. wandered around the airport shops, stuff to see nothing to buy. only bought lancome mascara for fats.

onboard the plane. sat with a whole muslim group. good thing didnt have to sit with the china chinese. the malay uncle beside me quite talkative la, but at least was kinda interesting. think the wife felt bit neglected haha. there was zero inflight entertainment OMG in the spot where airlines usually have a giant screen, there was a painting!! bloody unbelievable. no headphones given out. not that i would have been interested la. but still. i tried to read abit. dan brown's deception point lent by liyan. then entertained the malay uncle. china eastern air's crew spoke terrible english. hardly recognisable. they handed out halal food 1st but then fucking forgot about me! by the time the uncle reminded them, there was only noodles with fish left. bloody hell. i would've wanted the rice with pork. but then mbe it wouldn't have been nice with all the muslims around bah. didn't have to worry bout it in the end. after dinner, dozed off, quite a good long nap of 1hr+. woke up with parched throat damn. stupid new rule bout not being able to carry water. figured it was too near landing time to ask for water so just shut up and waited.

passing thru immigrations was kinda hilarious but irritating. i ended up in a damn slow moving queue, like why am i not surprised. a few angmohs in front of me. one of them had a problem, bloody idiot was using a Yugoslavia passport and the customs guy had to call in a superior coz he didnt know what to do with it. then finally they moved him to the side and continued with the queue but when it was finally my turn, the superior returned with the passport and that distracted the guy from dealing with mine. damnit eh, like what were the fucking odds haha. im just jinxed at queues la. baggage conveyor was a start-stop affair and my bags took a long time appearing. finally got my stuff and met siling at the exit! nice la, was really good to see each other :D

cabbed back to her place. the apartment's damn cool lor. wah next time i oso want a place like that. not v big but cosy and comfy. was damn hungry, luckily she had packed dennis' salad and hairy crab. wolfed down the salad, was good! not v keen on the crab, into the fridge it went. got oriented abit and then unpacked. ate somemore stuff, like the lays chips - cucumber flavour! v v nice! im so buying alot back for the famiily ehhe. the bite-sized ba gua was good too. stuffed our faces like duno what sial. think im gona get sooo fat here haa. took a shower omg the heater here is unpredictable at best. had to let it run for awhile before it got hot. but then halfway thru i made the mistake of turning it off when it got too hot. then it became cold all over again! fuck la. finished the 2nd half in cold water. freezed ass off haha.

there was Jin Zhi Yu Nie showing on tv! finally settled down to sleep around 2+am? fats had her electric blanket turned hot and wah nice warm bed to snuggle in. zzzzz...

day 2: 9 dec sun

woke up at 7+ at fats' mario bros hp ringtone. throat was bad la. went to loo then after that washed up and read on the sofa. dozed on and off til she woke up around 10+. we messed around then went to this superbrand mall for lunch at Pu Jing cha can ting. the mall is big and there's a supermarket and a cinema. eh mbe i'l go catch a movie just for the heck of it. warlords starring jet li, andy lau and takeshi kaneshiro. stuffed our faces at lunch. portugese egg tarts, salty roasted chicken, pork chop baked rice, si ji dou, giant lime juice. there was probly more but i forget. addy sms to say that he's finally on ibanez's artiste roster, is that cool or what. after lunch we walked around the mall briefly then went out to explore. took pix at the pink bola tower, Shanghai Oriental Pearl TV Tower. didnt go up the tower, doubt there's much of a view and didnt wana pay ha. then we went to the train stn, bought a prepaid transport card (theirs is integrated, can use on bus train even cab!) and went to shanghai ke ji guan (sci & tech museum). took some obligatory photos and went in to shop at the "new xiangyang market", THE place for sports brands, authentic looking stuff at unauthentic prices hehe.

spent alot of time at this sportswear shop. bought jackets for everyone in the family. we now have matching jackets and can do a hari raya stunt if we so wished haha. dad's and mum's cost 70rmb (guys design, new female design) and mine and bro's cost only 60rmb (existing female designs, both! good thing bro is slim built hee). fats is damn good at bargaining la, walked in and behaved like she knew the guy and claimed to have bought the track suit at 120rmb before instead of the actual 140rmb haa the guy fell for it i.e. she overpaid last time la. but the guy was kinda cute and friendly but he doesn't appear so initially to new customers. bit of an attitude. but really young and helpful. quite patient with us, we spent a longggggg time in there. then we went to have a coffee break at this SPR coffee outlet. atas prices but the coffee is nothing to shout about. 2 angmohs were smoking in there bleargh so we got out pretty fast and went to another shop selling abercrombie stuff. fats bought quite many items in there, some for herself some for her sisters. i also bought 2 polo tees, 1 for bro the other for baby. pretty good discounts once again courtesy of fats' impressive and unwavering persistence. 100rmb each i paid. we spotted these cute cartoony height measures and bought for addy's kids, and some other kids on her side. the guy quoted 65rmb at 1st but once again she managed to get it down to 30rmb. very wow haha.

that was all the time we had. rushed back to the sports shop to retrieve our stuff and went home to dump them. got the more heavy duty coats and then went out to meet her friend dennis at his condo entrance to take cab to dinner place. ji shi (jesse restaurant). dennis as she described was roly poly and quite humourous. we met up with another singaporean man and his female chinese companion there. raymond arrived soon after. the restaurant is a really small place doing very brisk business. apparently it's a very established place. some interesting dishes, especially the dongpo rou. heavenly. the fat just melts in the mouth! "it's not fat, it's collagen" HAHAHA. the xiaohuang yu which had to be specially ordered was quite nice, though they were saying can smell a bit of smelly tofu smell in the oil used haha. there was this lotus root stuffed with rice (a dessert type dish ba, sweet), some vege dishes - a cucumber dish which i liked, some chicken and prawn dish and also this tofu and another towkee dish. dennis and raymond make quite a combination, funny and gentlemanly. was nice dinner and with so many people we got to enjoy a good variety of dishes :) dinner came up to 200rmb per pax.

found an "inconvenience" (haha, fats blooper) store and bought jin sang zi (golden throat) lozenges. finally some relief for the throat. then we headed to this dvd shop the guys frequent. by cab. the cab made a funny tortured sound when we took turns. dennis raymond fats & me. overload! hahaha. looked around but im not into buying dvds la. bought a chinese band cd for Will. at least that's settled. then it was off for a massage at a shop near home! dennis is really into all this stuff and seems to know many of the staff working there. got a nice pressure-point massage and after his membership discount, we paid only about 50rmb woohoo. think i was really beat. already after dinner i was stoning abit, by the time it came to the very comfy head massage i almost fell asleep. i actually might have, haha. duno la.

then all 3 of us walked to dennis' apartment where he passed us pi pa gao and tiger balm plasters. what a well-stocked guy.

at home, the sleepiness had passed. decided to shower the next morning like fats does. watched tv and spent some time going through the spoils of the day's shopping hehe. quite satisfying. fats was tallying expenditure for the day while i did no such thing. why would i wana dilute the fun aha. was quite late when we got everything sorted out. went to zzz around 3am.

day 3: 10 dec mon

woke up at 8+ to go to the loo. fats was still asleep so i thot i'd pop back to bed. when i next opened my eyes i got a friggin shock. 145pm!! where did all the time go? the clock spoilt or what?! but it really was almost 2pm already. sigh. fats was alrdy up and was catching up on some work. i showered and we ate at home. she prepared a nice salad - lettuce, ham, cheese, cherry tomatoes with thousand island, and cream of mushroom soup, chicken wings, sausage, carrot+veg juice. we had kopi. and decided to get rid of the hairy crab in the fridge haha.

by the time we left the house it was almost 4pm. since when did that happen in foreign lands! but this is not like other trips la. was raining, got the security to call a cab for us. useful eh. went to Yu Yuan for shopping. it's like a messy wholesale place. Pu Xi really is quite different from Pu Dong. spotted some really cute scotch tape, bought 2 care bears rolls for myself yay and also this disney set of 6 small rolls to give to kids. total 35rmb. decided to try to find the famous Nan Xiang restaurant for the tangpao & xiaolongpao. still have, yay! misled by the stupid brochure but it should've struck us that the operating hours of a restaurant couldn't have been such. those hours were just for that Yu Yuan park or something. we atas people dispensed with the queue and went upstairs to eat. the food's good! the tangpao came with straws haha but the tang was not very hot la. the xiaolongpao we ordered the recommended crab roe filling. a lot of crab today. but it was nice. so was the fried prawn ball. bill was 106rmb. then we saw that downstairs it was really very cheap. like our xiaolongpao was 6 for 40rmb (of coz it was the most expensive item on that menu). the downstairs sold the type with normal meat filling, at 16 for 24rmb or smth like that. but the really good stuff is upstairs la, minus the queue. no dissonance at all heh. oh, and i called uncle peter chew haha duno he free to entertain me on wed onot. but at least i tried. at most i'l entertain myself, dont think it'd be that hard.

took some photos around the area. barely 6pm but it was dark already. really not crowded by china standards. fats thinks im not getting an authentic experience haha but no thanks. i dont like crowds. bought some specialty tidbit stuff though i hate buying them. just buy some see who want la.

walked to the Bund area for more photo taking. fats thinks i should go back in the day to get some day shots haha. ok maybe. then walked to Nan Jing East road, the Bu Xing Jie (pedestrian street mall). there were all these cute xmas doraemon in a Baleno shop! but quite expensive at 100rmb lei besides what would i do with another soft toy. sneaked a few pix with hp and i was happy enough. we stopped for coffee at Costa Coffee. had cappucino, cheesecake and some mini-brownies. that came up to 108rmb. atas coffee breaks are not cheap here haha. but its ok. we took the train back to DongChang Road and browsed at the flea market stalls in the area. none of the inflatable cushions, still looking and hoping. fats bought some house slippers, quite cute la. they really have a lot of those stuff around here. there are many shopping malls in the vicinity, i think i'l go explore tmr afternoon, after i pop by Yu Yuan to shop. then before i know it, it'd be time to meet fats after her work for dinner. i hope i find those cushions, they'd make great gifts. plus i wana get the ducky one for baby.

so we're back home. she's working on her laptop while im pretending to hehe. talked to baby for abit on Skype. he's leaving for kinabalu tmr. 1st time on Skype. i is suaku. watched Jin Zhi Yu Nie final episode. tapped into some unsecured network and surfed abit. couldn't do any blogs, weird. but at least i've caught up with this travel diary yay! its after 230am and she's not yet finished. poor thing. i think im gona sleep soon.

day 4: 11 dec tue

1st day on my own! fats woke up early to prepare for work so i woke early ard 9am too, just as she was rushing off. got meself peanut butter+ choc on bread, and milk. buttered a piece for her too but only after she asked haha. i shd learn to be more considerate. i was preoccupied with planning my route, studying maps and all. oh and i found a NBA game on tv, miami heat vs phoenix suns. shaq & wade for heat, steve nash grant hill stoudemire for suns. nice. but i only watched 1st half and it was alrdy 11am so i thought i'd better get moving. but oh, not before i took a few self portraits doing mundane things in the house. love pix like that hehe.

honestly, a bit apprehensive la. but just whack.

hailed a cab pretty quickly. said Yu Yuan, cabbie said Cheng Huang Temple? i went yeah. so he dropped me right in front of the temple, i.e. totally unfamiliar territory yikes. but i just anyhow ventured la. rows of shops selling cheap merchandise like shoes clothes bags, some only 2rmb. not exciting stuff though. that one stretch of street hawkers and their patrons was quite fascinating, i wish i hadn't been too intimidated to whip out the camera and start behaving touristy haha. found out need to pay entrance fee to enter the temple damn what kinda idiot logic is that. pass.

walked ard in this cramped building called Fu You Building. crowded with ppl stocking up. push and shove. explored all 5 floors. didn't see much that was interesting but bought a ducky laundry basket for baby. rmb16. or mbe i'l keep it for myself as a container for..some other stuff. we'l see. finally decided to give up and head out. got lucky, at 1 of the stalls near the exit, found the inflatable cushions! 20rmb. called fats and conferred. bought 10 of various designs. lucky got the ducky yay! others included cow, pooh, piglet, doraemon etc. what a heady feeling. then later went back to get another 2, of strawberry. hailed a cab (only successful on 3rd try) and dragged the whole bag home to deposit. i think i probly looked like a garbage collector haha. reached home ard 130pm. took a pix of the cushions. sooo cute!! then nuah abit and ventured out again at slightly after 2pm.

hit the shopping malls near home. truth be told, nothing interesting. not v nice, not v cheap = no selling point nor buying interest/impulse. oh but they have really nice adidas ads here. sneaked a few pix of becks'. too bad mcgrady's turned out overexposed duno why. wandered around and finally decided kopi break to be at manabe. had a tuna panini and this japanese style charcoal coffee. supposed to be a specialty. it probly wouldve been nice but i wouldnt know coz after (accidentally) dumping all the creamer into the little cup, the colour resembled tea. :/ clever lor. stayed there about 1hr reading.

not long after i resumed wandering ard, fats called to arrange dinner yay! got directions to Dongchang stn and took train to meet her at Lu Jia Zui, the station near her office, then we took it to Shanxi Rd, to this western restaurant in the Huai Hai area (atas shopping belt a la Orchard), Tasty. it was a many course dinner! wait leme count. appetiser, salad, main course, dessert, coffee and a little pineapple-y drink, all for 98rmb nett! nicely furnished place with beautifully decorated food. i wonder how they survive selling stuff at that price but i won't worry bout them. the food was pretty good, quite happy with what i ordered. steak was good. oxtail soup yumm. fig jelly dessert was interesting. we took lotsa pix :)

we decided to go for a hair wash but fats suddenly remembered her tailor was coming by to deliver her pants so we headed home 1st. the tailor's handiwork is great! replicated the Mango pants very well, fats v happy and keep singing her praises haha. i think if i were into this stuff i'd be that excited too. rmb120 only lei. finally ard 10+ we headed to the salon. it's near the massage parlor we went to last time. relaxing wash with head, shoulder, back and hand massage thrown in. all for only rmb28 after fats' membership discount wow! just the massage alone would have been worth a few times that amount. the shampoo guy who served me was good, had good strength. but he must think me stupid haha didn't understand what he was asking half the time. me newbie mahh. fats' shampoo boy was cute, doe-eyed boy with dimples. but apparently skill so-so nia. haha. can't have everything. the stylist who did the blow-dry for me reminds me of philip, gombak badminton that one. same pattern haha.

fats v impressed with how neat my hair is. took quite alot of pix when we reached home haha. funny la. really got so much difference meh. anyway my fringe looks odd. and the pimples. arghh. mbe i shd learn photoshop.

tired. fats has gone to bed, her directors in tmr. i haven't really planned for tmr so see how lor. eh, mbe i'l go catch a movie alone. it be interesting. the uncle hasn't called back, but it's fine by me. don't really need the headache in keeping up contrived conversations. i shd be able to survive on my own yeah!

day 5: 12 dec wed

yet another day on my own. fats left the house early w/o waking me. luckily the bladder woke me ard 930am, after that i set alarm for 1030am. basically woke up and nuah ard the house. nice. watch bit of tv, no luck with NBA today. watched soccer, barcalona vs deportivo, primera liga. fats called and arranged for some blankets and towels to be delivered. i went downstairs to meet the delivery ppl. very cold today!

came back and resumed nuah-ing. even msn abit with steph. took own sweet time getting ready. oh ya, almost got cooked in the shower again. medium rare. sigh. bounced sms to and fro with fats. mbe we'l try the laksa paste her dad got me to bring over haha. decided against coconut milk and oil. healthy version eh. think it's gona taste weird. so i'l try hunt for the other ingredients like taupok. got myself bundled up in anticipation of the cold.

headed for Dongchang station for train to Lu Jia Zui. found my way to Superbrand Mall, my destination for today. headed for the box office to check out movie showtimes. the earliest timing for Warlords was 6pm. ok so i bought a tic for myself. cost 30rmb. just had to loiter a few hours. went about exploring the mall. very big place with many restaurants! really quite
amazing. soon enough stomach started to growl so i went in search of that salad place fats mentioned. found it after a long walk. wah, if she didn't tell me of the place i'd never have found it. tucked away in a far corner. Element Fresh. went in and got a nice table facing out. ordered a classic cobb salad minus onion, and a cappucino. salad didn't disappoint, it was fantastic! giant bowl with fresh ingredients and ohh even the bacon which i normally don't touch was nice! tasted like ba gua! haha. i mean, not too salty like most bacon. the roasted chicken was warm and the vege fresh and crunchy. all in all, full marks la. shiok sial, even beats the one at pre-rouge. ok mbe same category. yeah. i could seriously grow addicted to it. 68rmb. the cappucino was just alright though. bill was 92rmb, i paid 100rmb and decided not to wait ard for the change. rare tip lol.

back to wandering ard. thought i shd go check out the supermarket and familiarise myself so that i could grab the stuff quickly after the movie. its a big scale supermkt but hell, the ppl here dont eat taupok ba! couldn't find lei. and oh dear they don't have lay's chips (cucumber flavour) in tube! damn. oso found out that beer is really cheap here. tempting tempting. then with a bit of time left, decided to go to that 4th floor sportscity. at nike boutique, spotted this pair of really cool pants with suspenders! price tag also cool la, 598rmb. instinctively beat a retreat, but really liked it a lot so i went back and sneaked a few pix with the hp. mbe could discuss with fats tonight. finally time for the movie. theatre was clean and quite nice. the movie..well. war movies. i duno why i do this to myself. all war movies are depressing. ppl die, ppl are mutilated, ppl cry, ppl are helpless, ppl have regrets. gosh. but it was pretty good entertainment for 2hrs la.

after the movie, went straight back to nike boutique. decided i just had to give it a try, otherwise i'd just keep awake at night wondering. tried on the L, too friggin big. strange, it didn't look like such big cut on the mannequin. after trying all the sizes, i finally took the S. fit just right, bit loose the way i like it. feels good! finally, after buying all that stuff for others, i find something that i really like, for myself! yay!

even got a lucky draw coupon for my purchase. hey mbe fats could win herself a diamond haha.

decided to pass on the supermkt and go to Jiadeli as fats suggested. mbe can find the chips there. took train back to DongChang and walked to the deli, near to Motel 168. this motel really high class sial, the reception area still got running water panel haha. anyway this shop beats the "inconvenience" store we went to last night. bigger variety, staff is friendlier and they have the chips! i bought 5 tubes haha to bring home mah. then 2 packets of lychee and mango flavour. must try all the unusual flavours. oso bought 2 cans of Heineken, they cost only 6rmb each, so damn cheap la.

back home to nuah. had originally planned to inflate all the cushions for a spectacular family photo but was just too shiok nuahing. had a packet of Mong choc milk in the fridge. fats came home bit before 11pm but she said might have to go out again for foot massage with her director. poor thing looked damn tired. anyway we opened the lychee chips and there was more nuahing. nothing good on tv. sianz. she says my nike pants are nice! but of course hehe.

she keeps trying to plan itinerary for tmr, think she's worried i'l be bored. for some reason im not very on bout the spa thing she suggesting lei. but i guess if nothing to do, that's a plan too. make pretty pretty head to toe haha. im supposed to be checking out the details for Hangzhou opps, totally forgot. doing it now concurrently but it aint going very well :/ mbe we can just go there and whack haha me lazy lei. besides, fats been there once briefly what.

oh she's not going out again afterall. good la, it be insane since she gota do breakfast with the bosses tmr haha jialat. she off to zz liao. its 1.20am. i shd be going to zz soon too. haven't figured what to do tmr. mbe Jing An temple, Chang Le Road or smth. fats insists i shd spend more time in Pu Xi ahha.

day 6: 13 dec thur

i'd set my own alarm before, and woke up at 1030am. fats had alrdy left for work of coz. i had just milk and 1 slice of bread with peanut butter and oh, kopi. there was NBA today again, houston rockets vs detroit pistons. i expect they must feature rockets alot here coz of yao ming. he's really quite good la, got a double double. improved loads and significantly more muscular now. but rockets set some kind of lowest free-throw percentage record, think 3-15. even the 3-point percentage was higher haha. kns. then i went downstairs to LanYe to collect laundry for fats. the security guard downstairs tried to make conversation but we couldn't understand half of what each of us were saying. he either thinks i'm fats' cleaner or just plain dumb. probly both haha.

left the house ard 1pm for JingAn temple area. basically just roamed around randomly. exited from Jiu Guang (Sogo), a very atas shopping mall. the toilet is the best i've seen so far, clean with toilet paper provided! and can flush the toilet paper! the thing bout having to throw the paper into a bin in other toilets is baffling, not to mention disgusting. but this atas toilet is really good! and damn, my standards are goin down the drain haha

took a "wrong" turn, away from the temple. went in one big round in the other direction instead. found this bugis village lookalike place with little stall hawking clothes shoes and the like. just like bugis village la. only it's cheaper and dirtier. didn't see anything particularly interesting.

fats called and i almost decided to go get the Hangzhou train tix but we decided to leave it to the courier for 35rmb. it would turn out to be a bad decision coz the idiots screwed up and bought only ONE tic when they received money for two. sigh i hope it gets resolved tmr. probly means we'l hav to sit apart for the journey.

more walking finally led to the temple. i spotted the structure and ventured a look. turned out that it was just on the other side of Jiu Guang haha smart la. entry cost 10rmb. pass. what is it with this country man. paying to enter a place of worship! full of shit. i wanted to take pix but was accosted by ppl wanting to tell my fortune. got bit pissed off and walked back into Jiu Guang. it was so bloody cold outside anyway. heard it was about 7deg brrrr. and i chose today NOT to wear the thermal underwear top. tsk.

really nothing much to browse/buy in Jiu Guang. decided to go back to basement and do lunch. went to this Japanese restaurant and had a beef udon and coffee. rmb 50. read abit. then made up my mind that i shd have some pix to show for tdy so i went out to the temple again. took some of the surroundings and myself haha i need more practice at this.

really bloody cold. fats and i decide to meet at Ppl's Sq instead of back home. by then it was  5+pm, i had stayed in the JingAn area long enough so made my way towards Ppl's Sq 1st. there was yet another departmental store/shopping mall, Xin Shi Jie. went to check it out and again, spent much of the time wandering ard in the sportscity haha. some nice pix of lebron and iversen ads. got a nike shawl for baby. hopefully it'd come in useful for his taiwan trip. really duno how to buy gifts but i miss him la. he's probly too busy enjoying himself to think of me sigh. anyway just get something and hope he'l like lor. since he alrdy has a beanie, i got the shawl in a matching colour :)

met up with fats in the very crowded Ppl's Sq Metro stn. we took the train to Shanxi Rd again, this time to a quaint little restaurant tucked away in a small street. Wu Li Xiang (fragrance in the hse). it's a part art gallery part restaurant place, where every item is up for sale, incl furniture and cutlery. we ordered typical Shanghainese food, like most of the stuff we had at Jesse last time. man, the 2 of us could eat! we had tofu w salted egg yolk, vege soup, cucumber, fried rice,lotus root w glutinous rice and TWO servings of dongpo meat prepared differently. haha. indulgence. the food quite good. came up to 342rmb. we were politely requested to vacate the table for new customers. not that i really mind la, we were done and they run a brisk business. made a visit to the loo and took some pix. even the loo is interesting ahha.

we made our way to XinTianDi, the cool pubbing area. took the "i was here!" pix as usual. there was a Stomp-like group doing an outdoor performance. they drew quite a crowd but not v impressive though. then we went into Paulaner. quite happening considering it's a thurs nite. the "band" was probly one of those filipino bands. substandard. im difficult to impress haha. i had a munich lager and fats got a munich lager mix w sprite. "ladies drink" haha. it was a damn smoky place and we ended the night smelling like chimneys. fats wouldn't stop whining about how her heel broke and her coat stank haha. bad luck la.

so we had to come back and wash up. really too stinky to sleep like that. and i found out big aunt is here damn. sian la. hmm unable to tap into neighbour's wireless tonite. no surfing. bedtime then.

day 7: 14 dec fri

woke up 1030am as usual. no NBA again, soccer action instead. primera liga, real madrid vs a team i duno. mbe they alternate. anyway was hardly watching. havent been able to connect to internet these coupla days. sianz. fats arranged to have the maintenance ppl come up and look at the blown bulb. guy refused to go buy the bulb, unlike what the landlord claimed. we'd have to do it ourselves tsk.

did some handwash laundry and mucked ard. left the house ard 12pm to go Changle Road to explore. took the train to Shanxi again.it's ok ba, quite an interesting place. there was this huge nike shop, 4 levels! nice huge wall poster of vince carter but i didnt get the chance to sneak a pic. many little shops, an unbelievable number of them shoe shops. fats says they don't stock her size though. pity. there're so many! was lazy even to take photo la. those that i take myself hardly turn out nice anyway.

wandered ard then surrendered to the cold and went indoors to parkson. yet another major shopping mall. i'm getting good at this. many levels of shopping. i go straight to the sports section again. the whole mall is frickin crowded, some 4th anniversary sale going on. in fact the whole day i tink the city damn crowded. mbe ppl here like to take fri off haha. anyway nothing v interesting to buy. saw some Forever Friends stuff on sale. thought about buying one for fats. but quite impractical lei. i suck at this gift buying biz. went upstairs to search for food. decided on sakae sushi. ordered a unagi hotpot, hana maki, kakiage. rmb68. had time to read abit there too. made the decision to just buy a FF bear for fats. the least i could do bah. she used to like it back when it first came out, i hope she'l like it. anyway she'l like watever i buy haha. so i bought one which was hugging a heart (a sure win bet), and a xmas card. then went home to fulfil my promise of cleaning the house for her.

came back by train. wrote up the card and used my care bears scotch tape to decorate hehe. brainwave. hid it well in my hardcase then attempted to clean the house. started using the cleaning liquid on the bathtub, toilet bowl and sink. then for floor. wlao she doesnt own a conventional broom. so i skip the sweeping and go straight to mopping. she doesn't have that squeeze-dry contraption too. improvise. use hand lor. so i do the mopping and pick up the visible bits of dust and hair. good thing the house is small. ohh inexperienced. when getting rid of the mop water i dirty the tub and toilet bowl. sigh. clean them again. all done in less than an hour. about time to go out to meet fats at Superbrand.

went to Dongchang again. fri + peak evening crowd! couldn't get on the 1st train that came. the 2nd one, i barely made it too. face almost plastered to the door. stinky drunkard man squeezed in next to me yuck. lucky it's only 1 stop. at LuJiaZui i was literally pushed out of the train. good thing that was my stop. the crowd waiting to board didn't give way AT ALL so i pushed through them haha. don't play play hor, i is basketballer. think someone almost lost balance from my push. good. idiot deserved it.

fats was abit late. i walked ard and went to watsons to get pads. sianz la. she came soon after then we went to element fresh for dinner hehe im falling in love with that place. we got the same table i sat at. ordered a classic cobb salad, a pasta dish and a truck driver sandwich. we both had fruit smoothies. too much food, we had to dapao the sandwich. went upstairs to the puzzle shop. i'd told fats bout the beer puzzle i saw. she bought it for me as xmas gift! how nice ritee! hehe. rmb288. then we went to the supermkt where she bought mong milk, pads, toilet paper and other mundane stuff. we managed to grab some bread at a bakery shop before it closed.

she said we'd go back by bus. ok. no. 583 was nowhere in sight though. only later then i spot that the last bus was at 8+pm. WTF. then we thought we might attempt another bus but she wasn't sure which one. almost boarded no. 81 but it drove away before we even got near. then came this 993, indicating it went to DongChang. so we hopped on. the lady conductor on the bus was yabbering away in some unrecognisable accent but she was trying to catch ppl who didn't tap their cards la. the next stop she announced it was the "final" stop. like huh. so we got off. where were we?! proceeded to walk in the general direction. on a long winding road. til fats finally spotted raymond's apartment and therefore we were near home! that was one long journey. personally i would've preferred to take the train. what with the load i was carrying with my half frozen fingers. but it was a different experience i guess. shan't complain.

bladder was bursting, went to loo 1st thing we reached home. crap, stain! fuck la. luckily fats got washing machine and dryer. can wash. i just had to shower. oso good la, otherwise tmr gota wake up damn early to do it.

we had a Heineken each and chips, cherry tomato flavour. nice. fats was doing the accounts while i tried to take timed pix. im running out of rmb, only 200+ left. gona contra with the sgd she owes me for toiletries and the lancome mascara. heng ah. really damn jialat, was too complacent in the money part for the trip. lucky she has, and will be getting meiyi to bring more over.

she's watching grey's anatomy now. nuahing as planned, even though we probly need to zz soon. get up at 6am tmr :/ im tired. gona go zz.

day 8: 15 dec sat

it's the wkend again yay and today is hangzhou day! we had a bright start to the day when we both got up late. she, coz the alarm was in another room and me, coz i set the morning call alarm on hp but forgot it was programmed for only wkdays. smart. so lucky fats woke up earlier and prep and woke me at 645am. i chop2 washed up, drank the kopi she made, grabbed the sandwich we dapao last nite then we left the hse ard 715am. so much for the plans to take public transport and save some cost. had to go for cab of coz. gota be at the train station for the train at 810am.

cab was right outside the condo so we didnt have to wait. the journey took less time than expected, and came up to rmb50. we arrived at Shanghai Nan train station bit early. had time to take some pix and eat that sandwich before boarding. due to the tix screwup by the courier, we were to sit in different carriages. fats let me have the 1st class tic, she took the 2nd class
seat, saying that she'd have opportunities in future. so nice rite.

train ride was ok. the guy nxt to me wanted to sit with his gf but i didnt want her gostan seat. he managed to get a proper facing seat to change with me and they were nice so why not rite. im oso nice la. but at the nxt stop ppl at those seats boarded and we all had to change back to original seats. oh well. i tried. read and dozed. communicated with fats thru'out coz we weren't sure which stop it would be. didn't dare doze much too. ride took bout 2hrs long. we needn't have worried. hangzhou is a major stop and there were ppl hawking day tours at 20rmb. we didn't go for it.

alighted at the station. blasting cold argh. we wandered ard and went to the tourist information counter but it wasn't very helpful. almost took the tour bus but didn't. we were going in search of a kopi place to sit down and strategise but there was no decent one to be found. finally, at some distance from the stn we were approached by this auntie who persuaded us with basically the same package. we were just less determined than before ahha. anyway 120rmb per pax, entrance fee, guide and transport all in, quite ok ba.

1st stop was Xi Hu, we met up with our guide, a miss Wang, and this other lady interpreter with 2 japanese old men. we went on a cruise on Xi Hu. the guide went on and on about the history of the place. very informative but really abit of an over-load. i'd been nuahing the whole trip, suddenly cannot process so much info haha. we took some pix. it was a beautiful day weather-wise. and it was warmer in the sun.

then it was off to some fish pond park place. can't recall the name. there was a koi pond in there, really many many. went through the park then it was off to lunch at some peasant-house-like place. ordered beef with green pepper, LongJing prawn, steamed bamboo shoots and a vege soup. the prawns were disappointing and the vege soup had little insects in them. sigh. protein. i guess we weren't really surprised. we didnt' finish the food obviously.

nxt stop, to sample the world famous Xi Hu Long Jing Cha. it's quite fragrant really, and we bought a box each. i can give to bro and elsie. parents can sample abit too hehe. took some more pix. this is a "i was here!" pix location, the whole hangzhou. v scenic.

last stop was a park again. one with Yue Lao temple in there. i didn't go in, big aunt really chose a good time to come :/ took more pix, then that was the end of the guided tour. we were dropped off at some pedestrian shopping street with stalls, little shops, restaurants, even a totally crowded food street. we bought this muah chee looking thing at 1rmb each. it was cold haha and dough tasted vaguely of green tea, and filling was red bean i think. we discovered we were at ZhongShan Zhong Rd and decided to look for that massage place ourselves instead of taking cab. but we started at no. 89, while our shop was at no. 525. was a longggg walk haha. cold but some interesting sights ba. it's a really old area, traditional cakes etc. we finally found our massage place after walking for bout half hour.

we were early for the appointment but they weren't busy anyway. used the toilet to change to fresh pad. this thing bout having massage while having period is terrible i hate it. alwiz worried about leakage, esp with the improved blood circulation. so anyway. there was the gu sha, then back massage. quite relaxing and almost like xiumei's. but my nose was running and it was bothersome la. stupid, 1st i forgot to blow it in the morn, then shd've done it before the massage coz i alwiz knew lying face down made it worse. sigh. stupid. marred the enjoyment somewhat.

after the massage we came out looking for food. there was stil time to burn before heading for the train ride home. initially we toyed with the idea of just having coffee and snacks, and then head home to make the laksa. there really was nothing much in the area and we'd never been so pleased to spot a starbucks. the pizza hut we passed by had a queue going on outside. but next to starbucks we saw this ajisen ramen-looking place and decided to whack dinner instead. i had a spicy/sour ramen dish, wasn't spectacular but i wasn't really expecting much. didn't finish. we shared a bbq squid which was a tad too salty. sigh.

then stil too much time, so we eventually ended up starbucks haha. girl at counter talked to us like we'd never been to starbucks before KNS we were just trying to decide what to order ok. her upsell tactics failed miserably haha we had the good ol cappucino and latte.

took a cab back to train station. crowded and so many refugee-looking ppl milling ard. we walked ard the convenience shops and supermkt to while away time then proceeded to board. this train back, Dong Che Zu, is more high class. there's even a waiting room. but man it was crowded. looks like a full train alright. but at least it was comfy and warm inside. we sat in the same carriage this time but not together. was an uneventful ride, dozed and read and the journey took only 1hr 16min. then we took the metro back to ppl's sq and changed to line 2 for Dong Chang. line 1 was unbelievably squeezy. the pin min line tsk. alot of squeezing and shoving to get in and out. tsk tsk tsk. i imagine it's quite something to have to live with on a daily basis. the entire train ride took 45mins but only cost 4rmb wow! so u either have time to burn, or money to burn la. oh well.

back home, washed up and got all comfy. the grapefruit-veg juice we bought yest was good haha. fats watching grey's anatomy and im about to finish up here. stil wana try that cushions stunt lei. but its 1.13am already, duno will play until what time. and i havent even packed. hmmm. still wana go Superbrand tmr to get the hairy crab for dad. last night here, must
maximise! gona get started on the cushions now!

day 9: 16 dec sun

last night we were up til ard 5am. i really pulled the cushions stunt ahha but fats did more of the work. she's good! we took many pix. the cushions looks damn cute in their family photo la. now i won't feel so bad giving them away. then i packed my bags. squeezed majority of the stuff in. i got big bags. shdn't be a problem.

woke up at 9am. sneaked the FF bear under fats' pillow. hopefully she'l only find it after i leave. need to go Superbrand. we went downstairs and took some pix of the condo area. then cabbed to the mall. went upstairs to sportscity 1st, fats wanted to get her swim cap and goggles. after some deliberating (as alwiz), she went for speedo. good choice.

then to the supermkt to get the crabs. there was a buy-3-get-1 promo. i wanted to get 5. fats managed to haggle with the sales girl and got each for the same promo price 56 rmb (UP 78 rmb). i bought 5. stood ard while fats took pix. evidence of how much we went thru to get them crabs! haha.

cabbed back to the nearby mkt to buy olive oil, coconut milk and paris baguette to buy uh, baguette. for the curry. then home to attempt to cook the paste. burnt some at 1st but managed to salvage. dumped potatoes and chicken wings in there. actually turned out pretty decent though the colour wasn't quite right. mbe lacking in the curry paste bah. the potatoes were abit overcooked and kinda disintegrated in the curry, making it rather thick. but it was quite nice! we finished most of it but left a small portion for fats, enuff for dinner.

then it was a mad rush trying to get everything finally packed up and trying to recall if i'd left anything behind. we left the house a little later than planned but that's nothing new haha. fats called downstairs to get the security to catch a cab for us. so it was alrdy waiting when we went down. cool.

reached the airport ard 230pm. pretty much checked in immediately. felt a bit sad to be leaving fats but she'l be back for CNY and that's just 1.5mths away. miss her alrdy :/

the flight back was smooth. i sat near the back, with a chinese couple and their boy. the boy was a tad irritating but not insufferable. just a kid. good thing he went behind to sit with his dad so we all had more space. there was inflight movie this time! on the shared screen. polar express. not interested haha so i read and dozed as usual. rediscovering the joy of simple pleasures.

mixed feelings. really glad to be home. the plane landed ard 915pm. took my time leaving the plane, i think i was the last haha kinda cool. cleared customs via automated clearance with the biometric passport. not bad. but think many ppl still not familiar with it so the queue wasn't very fast. at DFS, the dior lip gloss mum wanted wasn't in stock. but dad got his martell XO package. they were waiting for me at the arrival hall :) reached home pretty quickly.

im pretty much finished unpacking, left some minor stuff i think i'l leave for tmr. need to go get the pi pa gao and koh yok for fats tmr. talked briefly to baby and we're meeting tmr for dinner and cikgu's performance at esplanade yay. tired. gona go. that rounds off an eventful and fun trip! cheers!

the singapore marathon. 2 dec 2007. i did it! this marathon virgin clocked 4hr 56min 34sec. really quite happy with it. i'd thought 5hr would be a good time but i'd hardly dared to dream about it since completion was the pressing issue. and in all, a good outing!

some race stats. according to my chip timing i placed 105th in my division (local, females. i think), with about 38% of finishers ahead. gun timing is yuck, since we spent so much time queuing for the loo that we started 22min late arghh. and we didn't even know it had flagged off coz we were so far from the start line hahaha. hilarious la actually.

oh i was also ahead of about 62% of male finishers hehe. are males really more susceptible to muscle cramps? just something i overheard during the race. he sounded sour enough haha.

average km in 7min 2sec. average speed 8.5km/hr. breakdown of my average speed by quarter: 9.1, 8.8, 9.5, 7.8.

Of the 9697 (out of 12000 participants) who finished, 13% were female and 87% were male. quite many PESS ppl spotted there. i suppose we all finished. SUCCESS!

liyan and guobin finished too, and that's great. victory all around :D

it was baby's bday that same day. he came at the end of the race and i got a flower, some chocs and a nice leg massage. lunch at cafe cartel, then hangout@mt emily, then slingers game. which they won! haha. so we basically spent the whole day & night together till the next morning. i developed a fever in the night which sucked but his vitamin pill helped. we checked out early the next morning for the dreaded 1st aid course.

i should remind myself, how sweet he really is, and refrain from giving him a hard time so much. it's been bad recently coz i think there's some internal power struggle going on in my head. i don't like relinquishing power coz it makes me vulnerable to hurt. but slowly, i'm falling under the spell. i know i'm in good hands. i should learn to relax.

my fave band. the old lineup: Tuomas (keyboards), Emppu (guitars), Tarja (vocals), Marco (bass), Jukka (drums)

Will says Tuomas looks like a pirate, Emppu a vampire and Marco a Viking. how apt. i think Jukka looks like a pirate too. Tarja..hmm possibly a dark goddess.

Tarja left. the new vocalist Anette.

Tarja will always be the queen. Anette's no soprano but she does a decent job. most important thing is the band is still the same. Tuomas is a friggin' amazing musical genius. the music fills me with a sense of wonder, awe and excitement. no other band comes close.

mr rainbowman, sometimes when i listen to nightwish, i think of you. we're no longer as close or even in touch, but i will be eternally grateful that you introduced me to nightwish.

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on a more personal, less cheery note. i'm tired and upset. i duno how anybody could in one sentence, completely disregard every bit of effort i tried to put in. i have tried, i swear. could it be just a simple case of different modus operandi? or a sign of a much deeper, more fundamental difference that may just be insurmountable? i don't want to think anymore.

yay we're the inter-ministry champions! it's fun to play in a real team with friends. winning is a nice bonus. we had to play MHA again in another closely contested game. overcame a 5-point deficit late in the final quarter to win by 5 points. 31-26.

qiuping forgot to bring her shoes so being the same size, i shared mine with her. afterall she's one of the main players. so my shoes played most of the match haha. i played half of the 3rd quarter after she insisted i take my shoes back but cmon i'm a team player. anything for the team. that's why i play the sport in the 1st place. so i shoved them back at her and that was a darned good thing coz she was pivotal in the final surge that finally overcame the opponents. and so we're the champions :) we recorded the game on video, though it was only on an unzoomable digicam. it'd still be nice to watch it over again and laugh at the funny bits.

so that rounds off my first moe-player experience. more good stuff in future i hope :)

i oughta jot this down somewhere. the bbq was great. excellent company, yummy food and ice cold beer. ahhh the beer. let's see if i remember all that we bought. hoegaarden, heineken, anchor, leo, chang, tsingtao. did we get singha too? jeez i'd wanted to take a photo before we got started on them but as usual clean forgot about it. i think we discovered the perfect way to enjoy beer. 1 bottle at a time, pass it around, every gulp ice-cold. mmm mmmmm...

at the mahjong game after, i enjoyed some truly incredible beginner's luck. with the others making allowances for the newbie, i ended up with most of the chips ahaha. not likely to repeat the feat but it was hell lot more fun than i'd expected.

the power metal boys have been in touch they still wana jam HELL YEAH! i better clean up my act and get serious about practising once the exams are over. nightwish nightwish nightwish all hail power metal!

i think i use delaying tactics as a coping mechanism. it's just something that makes me more at ease. i need time to get around to the idea of something but once the mind is made up, i still will jump right in with both feet. i just need to get past myself and clear any lingering doubt.

perhaps in this fast-food generation, i'm still stuck in thinking-too-much mode. but that's who i am.

tuesday we spent an idyllic day at sentosa. doing nothing much except chilling out by the beach. it was a great idea to go r&r before the exam fever sets in. isn't simplicity wonderful :)

yesterday i played my 1st bball match as an moe player. nubbad. got some ok playing time, 2-of-2 shooting, had some good defensive plays. we won 62-32! against our sister team. scoreline's deceptive, they were a good team which was just having an off-day. im sure that if we meet again in the finals it'd be a much tougher fight.

do i know how to feed off the confidence from a great start? i certainly hope so.

free jerseys and goodie bags make me happy haha.

i wish number 11 was playing alongside us. it really feels kinda weird to be wearing this number. i'l never measure up. hey mbe next year, when the knee's better :)

deepavali today. bbq in abit, yay! yesterday we came close to having a tiff, i think. but im sure we're cool. i should learn to be more patient and you, more tactful. sigh. see you in abit.